Dear Parents,
To guide parents through difficult discussions about school violence, the National Mental Health Association offers the following suggestions:
 | Encourage children to talk about their
concerns and to express their feelings. Some children may be
hesitant to initiate such conversation, so you may want to prompt them by
asking if they feel safe at school. When talking with younger children
remember to talk on their level. For example, they may not understand the
term “violence” but can talk to you about being afraid or a classmate
who is mean to them.
| Talk honestly about your own feelings
regarding school violence. It is important for children to
recognize they are not dealing with their fears alone.
| Validate the child’s feelings. Do
not minimize a child’s concerns. Let him/her know that serious school
violence is not common, which is why these incidents attract so much media
attention. Stress that schools are safe places. In fact, recent studies have
shown that schools are more secure now than ever before.
| Empower children to take action regarding
school safety. Encourage them to report specific incidents
(such as bullying, threats or talk of suicide) and to develop problem
solving and conflict resolution skills. Encourage older children to actively
participate in student-run anti-violence programs.
| Discuss the safety procedures that are in
place at your child’s school. Explain why visitors sign in at
the principal’s office or certain doors remain locked during the school
day. Help your child understand that such precautions are in place to ensure
his or her safety and stress the importance of adhering to school rules and
policies.
| Create safety plans with your child. Help
identify which adults (a friendly secretary, trusted teacher or approachable
administrator) your child can talk to if they feel threatened at school.
Also ensure that your child knows how to reach you (or another family member
or friend) in case of crisis during the school day. Remind your child that
they can talk to you anytime they feel threatened. | |
| Recognize behavior that may indicate your
child is concerned about returning to school. Younger children
may react to school violence by not wanting to attend school or participate
in school-based activities. Teens and adolescents may minimize their
concerns outwardly, but may become argumentative, withdrawn, or allow their
school performance to decline.
| Keep the dialogue going and
make school safety a common topic in family discussions rather than just a
response to an immediate crisis. Open dialogue will encourage children to
share their concerns.
| Seek help when necessary. If
you are worried about a child’s reaction or have ongoing concerns about
his/her behavior or emotions, contact a mental health professional at school
or at your community mental health center. | |